Rebranding Nigeria

Professor Dora Akinyuli is a very passionate woman who takes her job very seriously. Remember what she did to those scoundrels at Onitsha market even after a bullet intended for her skull mistook her head gear for her skull? Since she left that beat, I don’t even know the name of the person who took over from her. The rest, as they say, is now history. Now a full fledged cabinet rank Minister, Professor Dora Akinyuli recently embarked on a crusade to “rebrand” Nigeria. If I know my Nigeria well, then you can be sure that it must be costing the Nigerian taxpayer a fortune. I have no problem with rebranding or repainting Nigeria or whatever terminology she may find appropriate in the circumstance. What I don’t like is her approach to the problem.

If you ask my unsolicited opinion, my view is that Nigeria does not require any rebranding because we have no problem with our brand. I like the “Nigerianness” in me. I enjoy coming for an appointment 3 hours late just to prove that I am “important”. The problem with Nigeria is that the 140 or so million Nigerians collectively go about our business like two football teams playing without a referee! The result is that you can do whatever you like and nothing happens. The rules are there on paper but there is nobody to enforce them. That is why Nigeria is the only country in the world where anything can happen and nothing happens! Nigeria is the only country in the world where a serving Minister can allegedly spend N125 million to celebrate his marriage anniversary while workers under his charge are on strike and it is business as usual.

So the present concept of rebranding Nigeria on the pages of Newspapers and the electronic media is not doing Nigeria any good because the intended target audience is not even listening. If anything, they are merely amused. Any attempt to rebrand Nigeria must aim the fire extinguisher at the root of the fire to make any impact. Our problem here is that we have no policing policy. Apart from a few flashpoints here and there (like the recent case of the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria versus the billionaire debtors), nobody can touch you if you have loads of money in Nigeria. You can literally buy your way out of any problem. So our efforts at rebranding Nigeria must start with our law enforcement strategies. Nobody should be above the law. If a State Governor terrorizes his subjects with his convoy and thereby causes an accident, he should be arrested immediately and charged for executive recklessness! The laws of the land should be respected to the extent that if anybody, no matter how highly placed or how much money he has breaks the law, he should end up in prison!

Have you ever wondered why the same Nigerians who do whatever they like back here become very law abiding people when they travel to other countries? They know that in those countries, their money will not get them out of trouble if they commit an offence! Go and see Nigerians in Libya, South Africa, Cameroun, Germany and where else won’t you find us? They all obey the laws of the lands to the letter. Any infringement and they end up in prison. They know that no Policeman will receive money from them and allow them go as if nothing happened.
Now that Madam Minister knows where to start and concentrate her rebranding efforts, I am waiting for the day a Nigerian highly placed government official will willingly resign from office because of a disagreement or even a scandal. I will never forget Dr. Fiberesima of blessed memory. Better be late than never, they keep saying, so I am still waiting for Dr. Sam Egwu, Honourable Minister for Education to resign his appointment, if there is an iota of truth in the allegation that he spent N125 million celebrating his marriage anniversary while the education Ministry was, and is still on fire! He should attach a Bank Certified Cheque for that amount to his handover notes as a goodwill gesture.

That is the way great countries are built.

Tata, everybody.

Napoleon